the other children

As a kid, I was both the bully and the bullied. It all depended on where I lived, which kids I was with and if my parents were around. Now, as an adult, I see the issue from both sides. I'm a teacher and the Boy's Director at a summer camp. It's my job to protect kids, to help them feel safe, to show them love and help them find a place where they can belong.

I watched this video tonight and it made me so sad. This year, I've worked as a substitute teacher in public and SDA schools, teaching everything from Kindergarten to Academy Bible to 5th grade to high school colorguard to 7th grade math. I wonder what bullying has happened in bathrooms, at lunch and in the hallways, perhaps even in my classroom just out of my hearing range.

I'm now working part-time at an alternative high school. It's rough. Really rough. Today was especially difficult. A student was very disrespectful, in my face telling me that he didn't have to sit down or do what I said I wasn't his teacher (because I'm part-time and assist other teachers). He started yelling at me. I had to raise my voice. I had to send him to the office. This was his final warning from the school - next time and he'll be headed out in handcuffs (long history...).

I look at my ragtag group of students. Some fell through the cracks because they were bad at math and then stopped coming to school. Others fell into drugs. Most had little or no parental support, no one providing a safe place after school. How many of these kids were bullied early on in elementary school? These aren't the smartest or most attractive kids. And now the majority of them are going to be lucky to avoid welfare, lucky to hold a job. It's sad. It's not too late for all of them, thankfully. (Several I predict will even be quite successful!) But we need to be very intentional about bullying amongst us. We'll never fully eradicate the problem, but hopefully we can save a few kids from the emotional trauma , save them from even thinking such pain could exist. One story at a time.

At least that's why I'll go back to work tomorrow...

bell. claiborne. miller.

I feel blessed to have three pastors in my life. As I read books by Rob Bell, Shane Claiborne and Donald Miller, I find myself drawn to their refreshingly honest (each some of the most sincere writers I've read) messages. It's not that they're in perfect agreement, but I find that I relate to aspects of each.

• Bell is witty and cool, a dynamic preacher who blends history and religion in his Nooma videos, books and sermons. I dig that.
• Claiborne is a self-proclaimed radical. He preaches intentionality in all he does and is one of the leaders of a new brand of Christianity, Red Letter Christianity. I may not have dreadlocks or make my own clothes but I want his passion for the marginalized. 
• I feel like Miller is an old friend. I feel like he gets me and that we could spend a Sunday afternoon in pajamas watching football together and then talk some Jesus and grab a few burritos. 

These three writers, like many of my professors at WWU, are big reasons why I'm still a Christian. Each impacted me while I was at my lowest spiritually. I discovered Miller on a day off from camp by literally judging one of his books, Searching For God Knows What, by the cover. It fit. And it helped me with my battle against perfectionism.

I've always like Nooma, but I found Bell to be an especial encouragement while serving as a Student Missionary on the island of Pohnpei. I'd listen to his sermons on Friday nights while doing the dishes. It'd be downloading on Thursday night - all night because the internet was slow. I needed his fresh, excited approach to theology while I was mired in debates with and over our erroneous, prophecy-driven chaplain.

Claiborne was an acquired taste. I read his books out of order, beginning with Jesus For President. It angered me. I liked being a white, middle-class Republican. I liked America. A bit too much. I almost stopped reading, but I didn't. Instead, I got all his books and am inspired by his dedication. His vision for Christianity is something we all need.

I write this post because this past week I've been reminded of their impact. I'm currently reading Red Letter Revolution, a conversational book by Claiborne and his mentor, Tony Campolo. I highly recommend it. He also came to Lee University in nearby Cleveland and I was able to hear him speak. I keep running into people who loved the book Blue Like Jazz and want to see the movie. It reminded me that I was behind on reading his blog (storylineblog.com). Always a worthwhile read. I also discovered that Rob Bell is coming to Nashville in March to promote his new book, What We Talk About When We talk About God. I love being in Chattanooga. Things come to Nashville and Atlanta and each is only 2 hours away... I digress. While I discovered he was coming, I found an article (from the New Yorker) describing the grief he's had to deal with since releasing Love Wins. I'm glad he's landed on his feet, but sad that hell causes such hate-filled discussion.

a few thoughts on gun control

I'm frustrated with how divided this issue is. I'm hearing debates everywhere and most Americans seem to have a strong viewpoint, with very little room to meet in the middle. It seems to me that President Obama and Congress are the only ones trying to find common ground.

Just a few responses to what I'm hearing:

1. Assault weapons were not invented in the 1700's. Your right to have them is not clearly stated in the 2nd Amendment.
2. President Obama is not taking away all guns. That will never happen. If anything it'll just be more like Canada, with tougher regulations and punishments.
3. Why should civilians have assault rifles anyways? Aren't rifles and shotguns good enough to protect your homes? 
4. Teachers should never, EVER bring guns into the classroom. More guns in public to help. Yeah right. I'm fairly confident that overexposure to guns and psychotic behavior in movies, television and video games are teaching criminal behavior and normalizing violence. I'd like to find statistics to back me up. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find.
5. Should Christians really have this strong of views on gun rights? Seems to be missing the point.

This looks like a pretty left perspective. I'm probably a tad more moderate in reality. I'm just tired of hearing complaints from the right, though I've had that headache for 4 years now...

Not looking for a huge debate. That's Facebook these days. That's why I prefer Blogger for controversy. It's quieter here.

vischer

I've been reminded so much recently of easy it can be to lose sight of God.

Satan is so tricky.

I never go to convocation at SAU. I'm usually subbing. When I'm not, I forget about regular campus happenings such as convo. I should have today as well. I was tired from my morning reading and hours of sitting in the library. Leaving for a walk, I noticed the poster for today. Starting in 8 minutes...

Phil Vischer spoke today. You may recognize him as the founder of Big Idea Productions and the voice of half of its characters, notably Bob the Tomato.

Sure, he was entertaining, even singing the intro to "His Cheeseburger," my all-time favorite. But what got me hooked was his message: college dropout < creating Big Idea < Veggie Tales success! < MORE success < ego < slight loss of focus < bankruptcy* < wondering where God went. We don't often see the ego come in. Phil didn't. He was reminded but thought his ministry exempted him a bit. He admitted today that God wasn't always his only focus and that he needed to learn tough lessons about success and focus. His final advice to was to make God our absolute priority and to have his dreams be our dreams.

I'm not successful in a worldly sense. I'm in debt and working on a Master's degree, having never held a full-time job. But that's just it. I thought I deserved a job, a girl, success. When those didn't just happen like they were supposed to, I became discouraged. But that's just it, I was wrong. We deserve nothing. We live in a sinful world where we continually lose focus. A few years ago, I lost sight of God completely and was admittedly deist. Thankfully, I never stopped searching. Looking back, it's clear that my ego and love of self were too much for God and me to be in a relationship. So, he took a break. He's back now, especially since I'm now daily recommitting to him as never before. Because I know I deserve nothing. I have no plan now. No concrete dreams. A few ideas. But more than ever before, I just want to do whatever God wants.

God needs to be our priority over all else. Thanks, Phil Vischer. For the reminder. And for being so genuine.

* You can read what happened to Big Idea here.