As a kid, I was both the bully and the bullied. It all depended on where I lived, which kids I was with and if my parents were around. Now, as an adult, I see the issue from both sides. I'm a teacher and the Boy's Director at a summer camp. It's my job to protect kids, to help them feel safe, to show them love and help them find a place where they can belong.
I watched this video tonight and it made me so sad. This year, I've worked as a substitute teacher in public and SDA schools, teaching everything from Kindergarten to Academy Bible to 5th grade to high school colorguard to 7th grade math. I wonder what bullying has happened in bathrooms, at lunch and in the hallways, perhaps even in my classroom just out of my hearing range.
I'm now working part-time at an alternative high school. It's rough. Really rough. Today was especially difficult. A student was very disrespectful, in my face telling me that he didn't have to sit down or do what I said I wasn't his teacher (because I'm part-time and assist other teachers). He started yelling at me. I had to raise my voice. I had to send him to the office. This was his final warning from the school - next time and he'll be headed out in handcuffs (long history...).
I look at my ragtag group of students. Some fell through the cracks because they were bad at math and then stopped coming to school. Others fell into drugs. Most had little or no parental support, no one providing a safe place after school. How many of these kids were bullied early on in elementary school? These aren't the smartest or most attractive kids. And now the majority of them are going to be lucky to avoid welfare, lucky to hold a job. It's sad. It's not too late for all of them, thankfully. (Several I predict will even be quite successful!) But we need to be very intentional about bullying amongst us. We'll never fully eradicate the problem, but hopefully we can save a few kids from the emotional trauma , save them from even thinking such pain could exist. One story at a time.
At least that's why I'll go back to work tomorrow...
It's sad that in today's world we can solve so many problems and yet not so many others. Insightful blog. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Jacqui said. People at my organization have very similar experiences to what you just described on a regular basis. Working with kids who have no concept of emotion regulation or self-control, who have been abused all their lives, have no self-respect and a false negative self-image, who feel unloved and unlovable. Kids who have found "safety" and "comfort" in very bad places and need to be taught that they are BETTER than that and they ARE valuable assets to society. It's hard work. And, like a coworker and I discussed this morning, a job we wish no one had to have. It would be nice if these problems didn't exist. But personally, I'm so thankful that people like you are out there because those kids have no hope if not for teachers like you who care about them and work your butt off to show them the truth of who they are.
ReplyDeleteAnd if I'm ever one of those parents who ends up at the end of my rope, searching for help in redirecting my child back to the path to success and happiness...I'd want someone like you to be there for us.
Thanks.
Becky, I'm so thankful for programs like Project Patch which really dig deep into the issues plaguing these kids. My job feels like a band-aid. Temporary fix. These kids are at school from 8-3 and then they go home. Most to drugs, alcohol and promiscuity. I'm only there from 11-3 and frankly I feel a bit useless. My students have started to treat me better, with as much respect as any other teacher. However, I leave every day with a headache and feeling like I haven't done even a bit of good.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm at least not hurting the problem. But it makes me so angry at parents, welfare (What it has become for these families, not at what it was intended for), and these kids for not caring more.
Sorry... I just got back from work... Needed to rant a bit...