Doubt brought acceptance into my life. Agnostics. Homosexuals. Yankees fans (wait, never…). Democrats. You may laugh, but this all of these groups seemed blasphemous and nearly evil to me as recently as three years ago. I wouldn’t have stated it vocally unless provoked, but those feelings were there. Then I began to doubt and everything changed…
This week I was sad to find that old Dustin had returned in small doses. I attended a George Packer lecture at Whitman this past Wednesday. As he bashed Bush and praised Obama, my anger rose. I wanted to tune him out entirely and nearly did. I convinced myself to look past and hope. I was rewarded with a lecture that stretched beyond partisanship regarding the war in Afghanistan. Why was I so quick to judge?
I had a friend who was scared to tell me something out of fear I’d judge them. When I found out, I was proud of myself for giving a hug and thinking positively. I explained that the old Dustin would have judged but that I’d changed. Little did I realize that I’d soon fail another friend within a few mere hours. I won’t share the details, but I’m embarrassed that I could ignore the aforementioned statement so readily and let something bother me so much.
Values are important. Yes. I’m happy with mine. However, I want nothing more than to be someone that can listen to anyone talking about anything… without judging… I’ve made progress overall in my life and I’m proud about that. However, this shows that I have room to grow.
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